Being a mom of three is a wild ride! It’s filled with laughter, tears, tantrums, endless snack requests, and moments of pure joy that melt your heart. With some frequent “Mommy, I need help with…” let’s be honest, sometimes it feels like we’re juggling a million things at once – But one thing that’s always at the forefront of my mind is raising kind, confident kids.
What is Gentle Parenting?
You may have heard about this; It’s a philosophy that emphasizes building a foundation of empathy, understanding, and respect that should start at home. And for me, gentle parenting isn’t just a parenting style, it’s a way of life. It’s about creating a nurturing environment where kids feel safe to explore, express themselves, and learn from their mistakes.
Here are 20 tips that have worked wonders for me:
1. Active Listening:
Remember those times when your little one wants to tell you about the “big, scary monster” under their bed? Instead of dismissing it as silly, try to listen actively and validate their feelings. It shows them that you care and that their emotions matter.
2. Validation and Understanding Emotions:
Kids don’t always know how to express their feelings. Teaching them about emotions – happiness, sadness, anger – can help them identify and deal with them healthily. I often use picture books or simple games to make it fun and relatable.
3. Positive Reinforcement: Positive reinforcement is a game-changer! Instead of focusing on what they did wrong, try praising their good behavior. “Wow, you cleaned up your toys all by yourself! That’s amazing!” This encourages them to repeat good actions.
4. Patience, Patience, Patience: Sometimes, our patience wears thin. When my child insisted on wearing mixed-matched socks, I knew I had to let it go. Choosing my battles is key. Remember, we’re raising independent thinkers, not robots!
5. Empathy is Key: Putting yourself in your child’s shoes can help you understand their behavior. Think about why they’re acting the way they are. Is it tiredness? Hunger? Frustration? This helps you react with empathy and find solutions together.
6. Set Clear Boundaries: While gentle parenting is about understanding and compassion, it’s also about setting clear boundaries. Knowing what’s acceptable and unacceptable helps them feel secure and safe.
7. Embrace Mistakes: Mistakes are learning opportunities! Instead of scolding, turn it into a teaching moment. “Oops, you spilled your milk. We need to make sure we are sitting correctly in our chair, careful not to spill but accidents do happen. Let’s clean it up together.” This helps them develop problem-solving skills.
8. Teach Kindness: Modeling kindness is the best way to teach it! Being kind to others, especially to our children, spouses, etc. even when it’s tough, sets a good example for them. They are sponges and will mimic everything that we do!
9. Promote Independence: Let your child make small choices. “Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red one?” This builds confidence and a sense of self-reliance. It can also avoid a meltdown in case they don’t want to wear what you chose. When given two options they feel like they were able to pick out their outfit (even though they liked either choice ha!)
10. Celebrate Successes: Big or small, celebrate every success! This reinforces positive behaviors and encourages them to keep trying. Confidence and positive vibes are key.
11. Show Respect: Always treat your child with respect. Even when disciplining, speak to them calmly and respectfully. Would you like it if someone was constantly yelling in your face for doing something wrong? It’s not a good feeling.
12. Be a Role Model: Kids learn by observing. Be the kind of person you want them to be. Our kids are sponges, soaking up everything we do and say. Be the kind and compassionate person you want them to be.
13. Limit Screen Time: We all need a break sometimes, and it is tempting to hand them a tablet to keep them occupied but limit screen time to encourage creativity and active play. If you need to use screen time, that is okay – I do it! I just make sure that I put something on that is educational and not too overstimulating.
14. Encourage Reading: Reading opens up a whole world of knowledge and imagination. Make it a habit to read together daily or read them a bedtime story before sleeping. My sons cannot go a night without reading a book. It’s a great time to relax, read, and discuss what you have read.
15. Get Outdoors: Fresh air and sunshine are essential for a healthy body and mind. Take your kids for walks, picnics, and adventures in nature or park. Let them engage and meet other kids too.
16. Encourage Creativity: Art, music, dance, building, exploring… the possibilities are endless! Tip: Support them if they want to do something in life, be their #1 fan!
16. Make Time for Family: Despite your busy schedule, make time for family meals, movie nights, or just sitting down and reading together. They will cherish it for a lifetime. My business is on my phone, literally, so I try my best to put my phone away while I play with them, during mealtime, movie night, etc. to give them my full attention.
18. Choose Your Battles: You can’t win them all. Pick your battles wisely. Sometimes, letting go is the best option. Sometimes it’s our pride pushing us to think that we are always right. This was a hard one for me to swallow, and after having three kids, trust me it gets easier!
19. Don’t Compare: Every child is unique. Don’t compare your child to others. Focus on their strengths and always believe that your child is better than anyone else.
20. Connect with Other Parents: Parenting can be overwhelming and overstimulating. Talking to other parents, family, or professionals asking for advice if you need to, and supporting each other can make a big difference.
Do you agree with this parenting style?
Remember, parenting is a journey, not a destination. Be kind to yourself and enjoy the ride!
